Fire in the Wind

"Can't sleep, clowns will get me...can't sleep, clowns will get me..."

Mind can't work from lack of sleep.  Communication skills dwindling.

Good news.  Internship with Fort Wayne Civic theater.  May lead to a year long, poorly paid position, but great experience and great networking.

Internet was out between 3-7am and I was boooooored. 

Note to self: Showtime at the Apollo is awesome.

Googled my name and found my own website.  I'm officially stalk-able now.  Last time I searched myself, I did not find my own site.

If you were asleep at 5:30am, you missed a lovely sunrise.

I hate getting up in the mornings, but I love to be up in the mornings.  Maybe staying up all night is the only way to have both.

I think I'll go to Bob Evans for breakfast and scare the old people and enjoy good eggs.  Yum...

Having read more about sleep paralysis of which I experience often, I have learned to use it to enter lucid dreaming.  Have you ever told someone in a dream that it was a dream and you are the dreamer?  They react very oddly.  If you ever experience sleep paralysis, let me know.  No one I've asked has.

If you like good anime or just good drama, look up "Monster".  There are several episodes on youtube.

I never really used youtue much until discovering full episodes of "The REAL Ghostbusters"  Who YOU ganna call?

I don't think knowing the root of your problems helps reduce them.

 

 

Just arrived home from my first Zombie Fest of which I hope to host more of in the future.  Phil co-hosted with me to combine it with Martoberfest II.  Although the zombie theme may have been secondary to the binge drinking theme, we still managed to get one game of Zombies!! in with my house rules.  I plan to use these house rules for Pentacon next year.  Which reminds me.  If anyone is interested in running games as Pentacon it would be great.  We could always use more GMs.  Phil, Laura, and Jock made very impressive jello brains and the movie "Shaun of the Dead" was well received.  I'm really pissed at myself though because I had wanted to bring my video camera.  I keep forgetting I have one.

 Also today, I was somehow coerced into participating in the Camera's Bowl  ( Some silly quiz bowl for current and alumni Cameras scholars.)  Despite of have the team being hung over, we managed to be in the final round, where we (the only alumni team) had our asses handed to us by a team of freshman.  Afterward, we were treated to open bar in the newly opened Bog.  Also despite myself, I enjoyed spending some time with t, undermining the prestigious Cameras scholarship, and have a drink afterwards.

 Overall, a successful day.  Successful at what?  I don't know.

Well, I'm expecting a guest soon, so really I can't update the entire week.  But I'm just putting the link to my sister's new blog up here.  ArchyMommy  (I know I thought architect too, but she is an acheologist)  I will also add the link to my links page.  I'll update about the rest of the week later, if I ever get around to it.

...but it's John...I mean...Ellen.  I forgot who I was for a minute there.  I couldn't think of a title, so I stole someone else's material, which by the way has nothing to do with what this post is about. 

What is this post about?

Ah, I remember.  It's about how much of an idiot I am.   I walk out of my apartment today without my keys, wallet or cell phone.  So, I waited 10 minutes for a bus to discover I did not have my wallet.  I walk two blocks toward my apartment before realizing I did not have my keys.  I scrounged around in my bag for some time before cursing myself for not having my cell phone either.

So, I head towards the apartments where I hope to find my extra key.  Luckily I was able to retrieve it, which is why I'm here now making this post because I still can't feel my feet.  It's freaking cold out there.  I also now feel sick to my stomach (surprise, surprise) my stomach and stress don't mix.  Sure, I was laughing at myself the whole time, but also cursing my stupidity and my earlier self-satisfaction for getting an early start to the day.  Now, THAT'S funny.

If I'm this forgetful now, just how bad am I going to be by the time I reach menopause?  I was considering this on my walk through the cold Chicago wasteland.  I think I will take up dangerous hobbies when I turn 40 as to increase my likelihood of dying before succumbing to full dementia.   At least I will die satisfied and with as much mental health as possible for myself. 

Dangerous Hobbies to Start at Age 40:

Sky-diving (a given)

Race Car Driving

Spulunking in Unexplored Caves

Hang-Gliding

Stunt Airplane Piloting

Suggestions?

I can feel my feet again, but still feel nauseated (or is it nauseous? which every one means that I'm sick, not making you sick.  Hmm, but maybe I am?)  Anyway, I better call the office now.

Future Dangerous Sports Death Statistic,

Rae 

Have you heard about this?

People are so stupid they think an LED board depicting a Mooninite from Aquateen Hunger Force is a bomb.  The entire city of Boston was almost shut down because of this, and now people want to prosecute the advertisers, Cartoon Network, and the designers of the advertisement campaign for it.  

It is frightening to me that people have really been put in this state of panic by our media.  Terrorist don't scare me.  I refuse to live in a state of fear.  Before terrorist, everyone had to be afraid of gangs and druglords and some other shit like that.  The government feeds off of people's fear.  As the populous is scared, it relinquishes more and more of their rights in the name of "security".  One of my favorite quotations of all time is by Benjamin Franklin (peraphased), "Those who would sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither security nor freedom."

The two men from the marketing firm who put the advertisements up are being charged (for what, I don't know).  You HAVE to watch their news conference.  They are my personal heroes.  Plus I haven't laughed so hard in months...maybe years.  

So, I don't want to be an engineer anymore.  So what should I do?

Options:

Palm reader

Web Developer

Stand-up comedian

Cartoonist

Hermit

Bartender

High Class Prostitute

Roadie

Right now, I'm most partial to Web Developer (specifically using flash) or Roadie.  But I don't know shit about being a roadie and I don't think physically I could keep up with it.  But I think I would have fun traveling and being around musicians who are more successful than myself.  My passion is still music, but I need to survive too.  I thought I could put up with engineering for a couple years, but I am not so sure anymore.  I think designing website would be fun.  It would be creative, which is what I think I really need.  Being a CAD monkey is so dry.  I'm happiest when creating or designing something.  I don't get to do much of any designing as an entry-level engineer and really the designing is bland and not creative.  I think I would enjoy architecture, but I'm not going back to school if I can help it.

Man, this post is alot of incoherent rambling.  My thoughts are not well organized yet.  I have alot of thinking to do.  But I am pretty certain I can't continue as I have been.  I need change.

Looking for inspiration,

Rae 

Screw J. Crane.  I rather liked Greg Laswell and have been listening to his album "Through Toleto" alot.

The songs "Amazed" and "High and Low" represent some of my thought and emotions well.

You can listen to both here.  At Greg Laswell's offical website.

In fact, the whole album is the perfect sound track to the last week. 

I'm going to visit my sister for a few days.  No offence to anyone here in chicago, but I just don't have the support I need here.  In a month or so, I might move back home.  I think I would be happier there.  Hmmm, it's just a thought. 

I had breifly posted something on Tuesday night, but then decided to remove it.  I really hope no one actually read that.

I have added 3 songs to my playlist:

"Goodbye Goodguy" by Frente!

"Slipping Away" by Moby

"The Scientist" by Coldplay 

Unfortunately, the titles are not displaying for some reason.

I feel these songs are better for expressing myself rather than my rambling.

Remember to empty your cache to see the changes to the playlist. 

Have I mentioned that I have a nephew?

I keep meaning to write a big long post about rushing to Lansing, Michigan to be with my sister during the birth, but I have been busy/lazy/unable to describe it in words.

Yes, I was actually there for the birth.  No, it has not changed my opinion on whether or not to have children.

My sister was really amazing through the whole labor.  She gave birth to 9lb 9oz Liam Michael Evans without any pain medication.  That's not to say it was easy, however she never screamed or got angry, but was actually quite at peace.  I can't imagine that I would ever be as calm as she was during labor.  It is very hard to describe in words what it was like to witness a birth therefore I will say it was indescribable.  I was honored to be apart of that moment with my sister.

This New Years, I was at my sister's place with her, my brother-in-law, Liam, and my parents.  Even though I was not out for New Years, I wore a party dress anyway and my sister dressed up too.  (Still waiting for the pics to arrive via e-mail)  We played with Liam's new toys such as the 'softblocks' I gave him, which are really cool.  They are like wood building blocks only made from foam.  My father, sister, and myself all had fun playing with them and Liam finds them quite suitable to suck on.  There are a few pictures in the new Photo Album mostly of Liam during the holiday visit.

So far my New Year's resolution is going well.  Within one week, I have talked to two old friends that I thought may be lost to me.  Both are people whose friendships I greatly miss.  I hope they don't mind me gushing over them. :P  Sadly, I really have let too many friends fade away during my life.  In recent years, I have tried to become more vigilant with my friendships, especially distant ones.  However, friends too easily become "out of sight, out of mind" for me and I still have that bad habit to break.

I'm still waiting to hear from my employers their full-time salary offer.  But in the mean time I have a pet co-op student to train.  The office co-op student is from  Kentucky.  I've only worked with her two days, but she seems to have a good head on her shoulders and is putting up pretty well with my poor teaching skills.  Teaching AutoCAD skills that are required for engineering firms is something I have never witnessed.  Everything I know is from years of trial and error for the most part, and I have to teach this girl everything as soon as possible to make her productive in the office.  *sigh*  This won't be easy for either of us.  I just hope she doesn't think I'm a complete spaz because I forget command names and repeat myself all the time. lol

I took my cat, Lenny, with me to my folks place for the holidays rather than leave him in my apartment alone for 10 days.  I was worried that my mom's cats, which are both about twice Lenny's size and weight, would scare him.  I figured I would see very little of him while in Indiana because he'd be hiding the whole time.  However, much to my surprise and pleasure, Lenny ran the house for the time he was there.  The other two cats were terrified of him and gave him a wide birth for awhile.  Lenny and Chedder eventual become friends, but Sammy rarely came out of my parent's bedroom the whole time.  So, my once terrified, skittish little kitten was able to become alpha feline over two cats twice his size.  I'm soooo proud. :D

Well, I think I have incoherently rambled enough.

Rae 

 

 

Hello 2007 blah blah and so forth.

Ok, now that that is out of the way.

My only resolution this year is to stay in touch with friends.  I've stumbled upon old friends and misplaced others this past year, but this year will be a time to keep in touch and reconnect.  All the other resolutions are the same goals and standards for myself that I've had for awhile.

Well, time to leave my folks place and head back to chicago.

Rae

...but then again how would you feel if your "best friend" hasn't talked to you in months and won't answer youe phone calls without any exsplaination or reason that you can fathome.  It drudges up other things to, so screw you all, I'm not happy.

 Today's song is "Fade" by Staind

It's been added to the Music Player.

If it isn't on there, you need to clear you cache. 

So you think Socialized Medicine is a good idea?

I found this movie about Lindsay McCreith, a man with a deadly brain tumor.

A Short Course in Brain Surgery

How can people both distrust the government and yet want to put everything in it's control?  Explain it to me.  I've been trying to understand the Socialist brain all my life.  And don't give me the old "if the world were perfect it would work" argument.  Guess what?  The world isn't perfect.

I was listening the Pandora and Nellie McKay's song "REal Life" popped up.  I had watche dthis video before.  I don't have her albums, yet (see my Wishlist) so I'll post the link to the Google Video.  Nellie McKay is a very talented and original artist.  I don't agree with all her politics, but I love the way she approaches them in her music.

 Nellie McKay Video

I have no gas or internet at my apartment right now.  Neither will be back on until the end of the week.  So, I am throwing up a little post from work to let people know I'm not necessarily avoiding them.  Thanks to Jessie and my landlord for bringing over space heaters so I don't freeze to death.  However, I'm still blind without internet.  I'm such a techno-holic.

I have been attempting to put new songs on my music player.

However, I'm having some difficulties uploading the files.  Will update when I get it to work.