Fire in the Wind

Any questions?  Read more HERE.

Look up cult director Edward D. Wood Jr.

You can watch the Tim Burton documentary online HERE.

Watch Wood's masterpiece deemed "The Worst movie Ever Made", Plan 9 from Outer Space HERE.

Then go visit the Church of Ed Wood (It's real.  Over 3000 baptized).  And read the first four lessons of Ed Wood HERE.

Lastly, go HERE to become baptized in the Church of Ed Wood.

That should make for a fulfilling evening.  NOW GO!!

Everytime I go to buy guitar strings some condencending fuck-head behind the counter has to express his opinion that the strings I bought are not right for my guitar.  I guess it is my fault for answering his question about what type of guitar I have.  I should be more on my guard. 

Ok, bastard.  I'm buying "electric" guitar strings for my semi-acoustic.  So the fuck what?  Did I ask for your opinion?  Do you assume because I didn't bee-line to the guitar strings I bought that I must be confused somehow and need your sage advice?  You are obviously an under-appreciated genius expert on all things guitar related condemned to work at a coorporate run guitar store chain in Fort "Lame" Indiana; I see that.  But I still don't want to hear what you think.

I know what bothers me most is that instead of telling this bastard to go fuck himself, I tried defending my choice in guitar strings.  What do I say?  I just like electric strings better and I want heavy gage.  Sorry if it doesn't agree with your world view on guitar string philosophy and practices.  So, you think brass strings would sound better on my guitar that you have never seen before?  That may be, but it's still my choice to make.  If the strings don't work out (which is what you are assuming), it's my loss.  So, for the last time...fuck you, your mom, and your little dog too.

The Registration books are out for PentaCon, the longest running Gaming convention in Indiana. 

PentaCon XXIII  Nov 2-4, 2007

This is the official website: http://www.pentacongames.com/index.shtml

You can download the complete registration book and form plus the registration form for the open Flea Market right from my own site.  Here

I will be GMing 3 games.  You can find them in the book. 

Hotel info is also at the official website and in the registration form.  If you are serious about coming, you can contact me about other lodging accomidations and hotels.

I have had such an unbelievibly bad week which included a 3 day stint at a hospital where apparently doctors don't see patients.  I'm still really really too angry to talk about the whole thing or explain the convoluted-ness of it.  Therefore, I present...Satan!!

(crossing fingers hoping embedded link works)

There is something about this show.  It just...it just gets stuck in my head.

So, once again October is coming up and I would like to have a costume.  I haven't had a holloween costume for years.  Mostly because I've been poor, but there is also something else somewhat sinister at work against me.

I would love to dress as "The Bride" from the Kill Bill movies.  Not only does she kick as, but I get comments that I look like Uma Thurman enough for me to believe it.  I could also use the costume at PentaCon or a CosPlay Convention.  I would be the best Black Mamba ever!

However!  Buying a costume is not an option.  I have looked far and wide since the movie came out and can find no Kill Bill costume for sale that would fit me.  No costume manufacturers make the costume in a tall size.  The irony being of course that Uma Thurman herself is 5' 11.5" tall and built pretty much like me.  No one makes a costume that would fit the actual character, and as a result, no costumes will fit me.  ::sigh::

I run into this same problem with a Tim Burton style Catwoman costume.  But Michelle Pfeiffer is only 5' 7.5" tall. 

I could make my own, but I'm not an accomplished seamstress and I can't find a pattern and it just sounds like alot of work.  I'm probably destined for another holloween without having a costume.

-Rae "Mamba" 

Last night was the first show of "Misery" at the Fort Wayne Civic theater for which I am operating the sound board.  It was the sponsor show, so not the official opening, but still pretty nerve racking.  But I had no major problems on my end.  One close call, but that was due to a change of the stage lighting that threw me off a cue, but it wasn't obviously off.  *whew*  I'm doing all the sound effects, so I'm practically a member of the cast.  Overall sound operation is alot different than the musicals I had worked on before.

Tonight is the official opening.  So the goal is to be calm, but stay sufficiently nervous as not to be cocky.

Overall, the show is damn good.  There has been many last min changes of crew and set and lighting and sound, so it has surprisingly come together well.  It is pretty damn creepy and the actors do a good job keeping the tension high.

It is a bit stressful and I'm taking tons of Imodium to keep from getting sick during the show, but it's alot more fun and more enjoyable than sitting in front of a computer all day drafting. 

I love the feeling when I hit that sound cue just perfectly... 

-Rae 

I was sooo excited when I got steaming music on this site, but no one ever comments on the music I post.  It is like that feeling when you find out something really cool, but then no one seems to share you enthusiasm at all.  The music player tracks are as important to this blog as anything else, if not more so.  When I just can not express what my emotional or mental state is, I refer to music.  I have done this for a long time, only now, you can actually hear live streaming of the music that expresses myself this day, week, month.

Or whatever, just be the music ostriges you are and don't listening to anything new.

I don't know which is worse: feeling as sick as I do or being too damn poor to afford medications to alleviate symptoms.

1:00am update: feeling a bit better, but worried about the next week. I can't be sick. I actually have a job right now where I'm practically irreplacable. Great for the ego, but lousy on the nerves. My digestive track is trying to escape from my body like that scene in alien...at least that's what it feels like.

2:00am update: stomach is starting to hurt bad again and I'm out of tylenol. Not as though it could do alot, but it is better than nothing. I think the placebo effect works.

3:00am update: I really hate the feeling of being sick to my stomach and in pain, but at the same time being hungry. I'm waaay to familiar with that feeling.

3:20am update: I fucking love the show Deadwood. I don't I've every cheered more for fictional characters before. HBO was stupid to cancel it.

4:10am update: Damn, sudden sharp pain = not good.

5:00am update: Feeling a bitter better, but I don't think I'm going to eat for the rest of the theater production.  Hunger pains are way less distracting than...well, things you don't want to here about the digestive system.  (Everyone say it together: "Eew")

6:00am: Spider Pig! Spider Pig! Does whatever a Spider Pig does!  Can he swing from a web?  No, he can't; he's a pig.  Look out!  He is a Spider Pig!   Enjoy the clip HERE.  And the opera version HERE. 

6:40am update: Ugh.  I'm thinking of going out to buy tylenol, paying entirely in change.  Because that is pretty much all the money I have.

7:00am update:  I have approximately 5 lbs in change.  Yes.  I actually weighed it because as useless as weight is as a unit for mixed change, I wanted to quantify it somehow and I don't feel like counting it.  I'm thinking 5 lbs should cover a bottle of tylenol. 

8:00am update:  Paying for $7.77 worth of groceries entirely with change was not nearly as entertaining as I thought it would be.  I was totally straight faced; for that I am proud.  But the cashier's reaction was pretty much just shock from disbelief.  No comments were made; the transaction made in silence.  Then I disappeared into the foggy mourn'...At least that's how I imagine it in my mind. 

9:00am update:  Tylenol appears to be working.  Now I must consider sleeping at the risk of getting on a fucked up sleep schedule or to try to push through to this evening.  If I can just keep myself engaged and entertained, I might be able to make it to evening... 

Ok, so people keep asking how I'm doin and my answer is has been "up and down"

Down:  "Hell's Shower" as I like to call it.  All and all the day before my friends' visit would not have been that bad if it hadn't been for "Hell's Shower".  Long story short.  I got horribly burnt and dirty trying to help some morons on a pontoon boat who got stuck in the shallows.  When I came back for a nice shower, I found out too late that the hot water from the shower was dirty and was staining my skin black.  I got out of that shower dirtier than when I went in and THAT is saying something. 

Up:  Some friends from Chicago (Dave, Matt, Nikitas, t and Sean) came to visit me the weekend of the 18th.  They humbled me with gifts and other feel-goodery stuff and lots of booze.  We went searching and finally found a local Winery and also went to a drive-in movie.  The down part of the weekend was the weather.  Saturday wasn't bad, but it rained all day Sunday, so although we were at the lake, we couldn't really enjoy it.  I couldn't sleep like normal, so I went out early in the morning when everyone was still sleeping to get food for breakfast and a movie to watch.  To my surprise the cottage didn't feel crapped with 6 people in it.  However, having had less than 8 hours of sleep in 3 nights kinda got to me and by the time peole left, I'm sorry to say, I was ready for them to leave so I could pass out.  But thank you thank you thank you all for visiting.  It meant alot to me and hope we can do it again sometime. 

Down:  Got a nice formal little letter from ITT saying they "had no position for me at this time".  What?  It was pretty much assured to me 100% that I would have a class or two and then I get this letter in the mail.  Not even a phone call or e-mail.  I was on a first name basis with the head of the deptment.  What in the hell made them change their mind?  I think I deserve a little more than a form letter from them after all.  I was even told to be at new instructor orientation only a few days before getting that letter!!  I stopped looking for a job because I thought I had one.  Bastards.

Ups:  Looks like I will be maning the sound for the Civic Theater's production of "Misery" solo.  This could mean a small paycheck, which would be nice, but the experience is worth more.  I had a meeeting with the director and the guy creating some of the sound effects so we could mark sound cues in the script.  So far, this sound like it will be fun and it's a good small play for me to start maning the sound booth alone.

Down:  My car is leaking into the passenger side leg space.  It's pretty bad cause it's been raining almost non-stop for a week.  I know I have to get it into the dealer pronto, but money and timing the drop of with my mother is not easy, but it will have to be done sooner than later.

Up:  Well, overall, I'm in a pretty good mood at the moment despite being penniless.  We'll see how long it last.

They should name a rollorcoaster after me...

Rae 

1. Wake up Mother Fucker - Nigel Kennedy

2. Those Were the Days - Lady Sovereign

3. Real Life - Nellie McKay

4. Stay Away - Pain

5. Blood - Papa Roach

6. I Will Be There - Nellie McKay

7. Through Toledo - Greg Laswell

8. Rehab - Amy Winehouse

9. Empire State - Guster

10. Sitting On Top of the World - Jake Speed and the Freddies

Leave your comments on the music on this post.  If anyone gives a damn enough to comment. :P

-Rae

I'll continue right where I left off on the last post...

Laughter

"Laughter brings people together.  It is the world's common denominator.

"A sense of humor can see you through the hardest of times and help others through their's.

"My father had a great sense of humor.  I think he could make anyone laugh."

Loyalty and Obligation

"Always be loyal to those who deserve your loyalty.

"Always have time for those who need it.

"Defend your family and friends as you would defend yourself."

Good and Evil, Injustice, Morality/Ethics

"One voice can be more powerful than a million voices.

"Don't tolerate injustice; fight it.

"Life and freedom is the standard for good.  Anti-life and anti-freedom is evil.

"Evil will eventually destroy itself, but can destroy and hurt much good during it's collapse.  So, you can't just wait for evil to collapse; it must be fought."

Life Philosophy

"Life can be difficult, but I always sensed that he believed that life is good.

"Life is not to be lived in fear. 

"My father's personal message to me was to never give up on yourself.  I have been through many hard times lately, but I knew my father always had faith in me.

"Trust yourself.  You are the final authority on your life.

"Live life by no one's standards but your own.  You must choose what is right or wrong for you.

"Speak your mind.  Because no one else will.

"Live as you preach and respect those who do.  Words mean nothing without action.

"The Universe, Planet, Society, Humanity is in a constant state of change and we must learn to embrace that natural change as individuals and as mankind or else we are fighting a lossing battle."

-my father's words

Rae 

I've been avoiding this, but I want to post it here.  To help me create a eulogy, I focused on the what my father had taught me in his life.  I started with a list of things I learned fron him.  And organized them.  The result was a envelope full of such lessons.  Each lesson fitting into a catagory (more or less).  I fould this to be the easiest way to express myself and to express the inpact he had on me and others.  I will present to you primarily the outline as was writen on note cards.  I will add comments as I feel necessary.

For my father, who taught me much by action, words, and living.

"Everyday I am greatful for my parents.  They have instilled in me many great qualities.  Qualities that I try to live by everyday.  The following are some of those ideals that my father thaught me though his life time of examples. 

Enjoy life

"Through my father's continous enthusiam for games, creation, and learning, I learned to never grow up.  Keep your childlike enthusiasm.

"My father taught me to always enjoy simple things.  Calm days at home and enjoying the view from the lake cottage.

"Though my father worked hard at his job, he alwys took time to enjoy life.  He believed you should spend as much time as possible doing what you love."

Respect Nature and Life

"Show compassion for all living things.  My father always had a soft spot for animals and people who where in trouble and he would go out of his way to help.

"Love animals.  My father grew up with way household pets.  There he learned to appreciate the love animals gave and were deserving to receive.

"My father was an engineer, but he always respected and appreciated nature.  He even designed the house I grew up in to have maximum efficiency at the time and it continues to out preform many modern constructions." 

 Faith in People

"Though faced with much adversity in the work place.  My father always held deep compassion for mankind.

"He would assume the best of people and would usually be right.

"His natural congeniality towards strangers and his fellow man, endured him to many.

"He would never pass up a oppotunity to brighten someone's day.

"When faced with adversity, he often tried to be understanding of other's opinions and short comings.

"He had a true trust in others to live their lives as best they could, but would help them when such help was needed.  He was a man easy to approach for help.  He gave sage objective advice, trying to keep personal interest out of the topic.

"He had an enthusiasm for teaching and the sincere belief that all students have potential.  He sacrificed hours to help students reach their potectials.

"He deeply believe children were people; treat them as such.  Enjoy children's enthusiasm and curiosity, never stiffle it.  Children often enjoyed my father's company, and I think for those reasons."

 Continuous Learning

"Never stop learning.  Always be curious.  Try new things.  Attempt to change. 

"Learn something new everyday and be excited by it; share it.

"Have an open-mind and listen to other's opinions.

"Confront yourself with opposing ideas to keep yourself thinking.  It's easy to prove youself right, but enlightenment is being proven wrong.

"Always think critically about books, TV, movies, media, and other's opinion.  I thank the fact that my parents were there with me while watching TV etc... to teach me to think critically of all media.

"Sometime you must shock people to wake them up to new ideas.  Not always the most tactful man, my father would say things that might offend, but I have learned that in this world we much be willing to offend to express ourselve and make other think."

To be continued... 

 My sister, father and I camping.   Good times.  Noodle Salad.

In think this link makes a good point about adults losing a parent.  I know several people who have lost parents when young.  It is a different type of grieving when you are an adult, but just as difficult and valid.

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article2072049.ece