Fire in the Wind

Sometimes we have to make changes and they can't wait for New Years.  I've always felt New Years resolutions were kinda lazy and an excuse to put off what could be done today.  Not to put down procrastinators.  I'm a particularly adept one and so are most of the people near and dear too me.

So, getting to the point.  Decisions have been made.

For the past couple years I've been playing fast and loose with my health, which is a nice way to say I stopped giving a fuck.  And as I started to regain my sanity, I forgot to start caring again. 

Well, I've remembered now that I do indeed enjoy life for the most part and would like it to stay enjoyable for as long as possible.  For the best chances of this, I need to take better care of myself.  I have to stop living in denial about the fact that I have (what is for now) a life-long disease, and I have to take some responsibility again.  I did this for awhile in college (amazingly enough).  If I hadn't, I never would have graduated.  I look back now with a little bit of amazement that I was able to make some big changes in my lifestyle. 

Some of those changes (and the mindset that came with them) have sticked, but I've let many of them slip away.  I've been very complacent and lazy.  Well, to not be totally harsh, I have picked up some good habits again over the past year, especially since I started working.  But I have yet to really get back into the mindset of taking care of myself, of being aware of my health and acting on that awareness in a positive way.  (Not the easiest thing in the world: to make the right decisions regarding an illness, yet not to actually THINK about the illness.)

So, once again, decisions have been made. 

I'm not announcing my decisions.  I find talking too much about doing something makes me lose the momentum to actual DO it.  In fact, I wasn't even going to write this post  But I think I need to make some kind of public declaration to reassure myself...and perhaps others. 

I know not many read my blog, but I know those who do drop in tend to worry about me.  I've had a rough couple years and perhaps I've given people reason to worry.  So, for those people, please don't worry TOO much.  It's not good for any of us.  I don't like people to worry about me.  It's not that I don't appreciate your concern, but being responsible for my own emotional state is burden enough, thank you. :P 

So have (faith?).  Decisions have been made.  And for the better.

Rae "not dead yet" Surface